Our new little munchkin

As you all may know by now (seriously it's been 4 weeks!) we welcomed our new little man into the family in the wee hours of October 14. At 10:48 PM on October 13, I felt a contraction. I was cranky and skeptical because I'd been having contractions for almost 4 straight weeks, but I started timing. I had a few hard contractions about 4 minutes apart, and then they stopped for 10 minutes. I settled in to watch Psych with Christopher before bed. When the contractions returned, they were vicious! After 20 minutes, we knew it was time to go. We called Cindy and Kevin, and they decided to send Cindy over here so James could sleep in his bed over night.

By midnight, we were headed to the hospital! When we made it into labor and delivery, I was 7 cm dilated. Our little man was on his way! I had planned to go all natural this time, but I'd forgotten how painful giving birth is. Nothing is quick at the hospital, so after an excruciating 90 minutes, the anesthesiologist finally showed up. I was at 9 cm when he arrived in my room. I don't know if I'll ever be able to describe the reason I still chose to have an epidural after I'd made it that far. Honestly, I was just a few moments from being completely done with the experience. Regardless, I got the epidural and I finally relaxed.

I asked Christopher to take my picture while I was in labor so that I could see what I looked like. This was taken immediately after I laid down and started to feel relief, 2:44 am.

A few seconds later, they told me to try a practice push. I started to push, and the doctor basically yelled, "Wait! Stop!" Suddenly the room was filled with people-collapsing the bed, getting suited up (honestly, did they expect a bloodbath?) and ready to go.

At 2:48, I began to push. That's the end of the story, because he was born that second.

Samuel Christopher Feldmann. My long, skinny, squidgy baby.

I'll spare you the gooey just-exiting-the-womb shot. You're welcome.

Now a sidenote: in the picture you just saw, he looks just like James. While that was the case for a fraction of a second within 5 minutes of his birth, it never happened again. James is the spitting image of his father, and Sam is undeniably related to the Unklesbay clan.

Just a few minutes before Sam was born (ha. All the minutes I was in labor were minutes just before he was born, really.) I explained to the nurses that James was whisked away immediately after he was born, and I didn't get to hold him for over 5 minutes, (I understand that this isn't a long time...but just enough to bug me.) and nobody explained what was going on to me. To this day, I can't watch the video of James's birth because I still freak out when they take him away. The nurses at this hospital, even though Sam needed a little extra care, made sure to put him on my chest and let me see his face for a few moments. They took him away to make sure everything was ok-saw that he needed some extra attention in the nursery-and then let me hold him a little while longer before they took him.

Remember that epidural that I still got even though I was already at 9 cm? It had at least one major side-effect. When Sam was born, I was 100% comfortable. Well, at least as comfortable as one can be with their legs up in the air and something the size of a watermelon being forcibly removed from your body. But because I was so comfortable, and because the hours of pain were over, (4, if you're counting. 4 hours exactly from first contraction to delivery.) as soon as Sam was born, I was SO happy. So. My tiny guy and his dad went off to the nursery to make sure everything was okay, and to monitor him for a little while to make sure his breathing was just right. I was bored, and they were gone for nearly an hour. I took the time to call my dad and Ethan, (surprise! I knew he'd be up!) get changed into a fresh gown, and straighten up the delivery room. (ah! That nesting instinct finally kicked in!) I texted Christopher a few times, and he sent me some pictures of the baby.

Up to this point, I still didn't know my little guy's stats. I was BEGGING to know! The nurse who was checking on me was undoubtedly frustrated with me, because I kept asking every single time she came in. This little guy I KNEW was really long, but I was certain he was a lightweight. 8.5 lbs tops. Finally the measurements arrived!

9 lbs, 6.6 oz and 23 inches long.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I did it again.

So what if my kids are the size of toddlers when they're born.

But seriously, he's the size of a very skinny 3 month old.

Long legs, feet and toes.

Long arms and fingers.

An adorable baby-sized Unklesbay nose...

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

So. After an hour or so, Christopher finally came back to retrieve me, and we went to our postpartum room. The nurses were all talking about how this 9 lb baby was out in one push.

Ever wonder when you're going to get your 15 seconds of fame? Well, that was mine. Not a terrible thing to be famous for, and I'm telling you...I was the talk of the maternity ward at U of L hospital that night-sometime around 4 am.

After we got settled, we finally got a chance to take a picture of daddy with his tiny guy.

This is my favorite thing in the world, by the way. Christopher with our kids. He's incredible, in case I haven't mentioned it.

The next day, our awesome friends Cindy and Kevin came to visit us at the hospital, and brought James. Now-even though I was 5 days overdue, somehow I hadn't put together a survival kit for James. Honestly, nobody could find any clothes for him. I really need to get a system for the kids' clothes! So Cindy's sweet friend (insert name I've completely forgotten. Sorry!) bought James some new clothes.

We got to take our very first family picture. We look exhausted, but as one of my friends pointed out, more like Christmas morning than like we're dying of sleep deprivation. (A current picture might show something different.) I can't describe how wonderful it was to see James after being away from him overnight. It didn't feel right to be together without him there.

Saturday in the hospital was wonderful. We laid around, went for a couple of walks, and my parents came to visit. We pulled some strings at the hospital, and convinced the doctors to let us go home at 40 hours instead of 48, and then they messed up on something and it ended up being 39. I was beyond thrilled! Nobody gets rest in the hospital. Nobody. Perhaps I could have convinced them to put me in a coma for the time I was there so I could get some rest?

So we dressed up our new little man.

Put on the famous booties,

And went home.

Now for the best part of the whole story. By 10 PM on October 15, 2011, I had my whole family at home where they belonged. We were all soundly sleeping in our beds. Just the way it's supposed to be. Nobody missing.

Finally.

Um...do you know me?

There's been a lot of talk at our house lately about the changes in Facebook. When the new features were first presented at the f8 convention, they were announced as a way to "know your friends like you've never known them before."

Interesting.

As the changes take place, you'll continue to be able to see what things your friends "like" and comment on in REAL TIME! You'll be able to see what your friends are listening to in REAL TIME! You'll know what your friends are watching in REAL TIME! Is this sounding a little big brother-ish to you? It is to me. Not like the-government-is-watching-my-every-move Big Brother, more like there's-a-camera-in-every-room-of-my-house-and-everyone-is-watching Big Brother. It's okay, I guess...if you're into that sort of thing.

I mostly am not.

But the whole point I'm trying to make is...does this make it so you know your friends like you've never known them before? Or does it take us all to a new level of stalking, yet never really knowing anyone? According to Mark Zuckerberg, when Facebook first came out, people would spend 5 minutes perusing someone's profile. Now the number is 20. 20 minutes. No wonder it's so easy to waste your life away on Facebook! You can click through everything someone's doing! You can learn things about them you never knew before! And with the advent of Timeline, you can click through someone's WHOLE LIFE!!!!

uhm...hey, Creeper. Wouldn't it be a lot cooler if you talked to someone for 20 minutes and learned all about them?

I was at a gathering once and heard someone say, "My friend was saying the other day_______" making it sound as if these two people had a meaningful conversation. They never did. I saw it on Facebook too. According to my 17 year old brother, Facebook is automatically uncool as soon as you talk about Facebook outside of Facebook. But...what happens when there's so little interaction in real life that Facebook is all that's left? I mean-sure-I'm not going to call everyone I know to tell them about the funny little thing James just did, but I post it on Facebook so I can feel validated in thinking it was awesome.

Facebook and Spotify will link together and tell you that I spent an hour listening to Josh Groban yesterday. If you knew that, would you feel like you knew me better? Maybe. But I can guarantee that you wouldn't know that I'm not a huge Grobanite. I desperately needed to relax, I was soaking in the tub, and I was interested in listening to something different than my typical instrumental music. You'll never know why I needed to relax. You'll never know what was going on with me yesterday.

What about when it tells you I'm listening to

Breaking Benjamin?

Dave Matthews Band?

Mika?

There's always a reason. You may discover that I spent an entire week listening to the exact same music. So what if it was Michael Jackson. It doesn't mean you know me. (Okay, shut up! It's something that is just REALLY catchy about the song "Earth Song." I can't stop listening to it. And if I don't play "This is it," "Blame it on the Boogie," and some other selected MJ songs once a week, I feel like I'm not truly living.)

So all this to say, with the advent of the new and improved Facebook...do we really know each other at all anymore? Or do we just think we do?

Men

I heard this quote this morning, and couldn't not share. Have you ever met my husband? He's the most incredible man in the universe. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He's smart, he's creative, he's strong, compassionate, and loving. He's gentle and kind and understanding. He brings out the very best in me, and sticks with me through my worst times. He's seen me fail, and he's seen me succeed, and he still stands by me. He teaches me patience and strength, and he always puts his family first.

He's all I ever wanted, and more than I deserve.

There are really not enough words to express how lucky I am to have this man in my life. As I prepare to give birth to our second son, all I can think is that I would be so proud of my two little guys if they turn out just like their dad. James already has his smile, his eyes, and his strength. I can't wait to watch both boys follow the incredible example set by their dad.

So to you, Christopher, thank you. Thank you for being the best husband and father I've ever seen. Thank you for working so hard to provide for our family. Thank you for encouraging me and helping me succeed. Thank you for making each day better than the one before. Thank you for believing in me when I don't believe in myself.

Thank you for teaching me that I'm worth it.

On having babies close together...

Someone told my husband today that they felt sorry for our kids because they're going to be so close together. I try to be careful to not rant about the comments we've been getting since announcing this pregnancy, because it doesn't do anyone any good, but maybe it's time for me to say something.

Shortly after we were married, I was told that we would need a fertility specialist in order to get pregnant at all. Ever. I have a medical condition that is the number one cause of infertility in women. It's also known to cause secondary infertility.

Our children are a blessing.

We want them.

We care for them.

We love them.

So please, don't feel sorry for them and don't feel sorry for us. Sometimes the most challenging things in our lives are the biggest blessings.

Becoming a Mother

I always thought that the day I found out I was pregnant, I became a mother.

Then I got pregnant.

When I was pregnant, I was positive that the first time I saw my baby moving on the ultrasound monitor, I would become a mother.

Then I saw the ultrasound.

When I was pregnant, watching those wonderful ultrasounds, I knew that I'd have to experience something different to become a mother. I couldn't be more certain that the moment I saw my first child for the first time, I would become a mother.

Then I saw him. There wasn't any magical moment. I didn't cry because I was so happy. I was terrified, I was tired, and I didn't FEEL anything. I definitely didn't feel like I'd become a mother.

In the months that followed, I didn't feel like much had changed about me except for the fact that I slept less, I complained more, and I was generally not very pleasant to be around. I was unsteady and unsure of myself, and I felt very lonely in the world. Not like a mother at all.

Today, as I watch my little boy cruise around the furniture, turn the pages in his books, hug and kiss his teddy bears, drive his cars, and touch things while saying, "This! This!" I feel love. I feel peace. I feel gratitude. And most of all, I feel like a mother.

So all that is to say, becoming a mother isn't an event. It's not like getting baptized and becoming a member of a church. It's not turning thirteen and becoming a teenager. It's a process, or at least for me it has been. I never once felt the switch flip and knew for sure that in one moment I became a mother, but I do know that over the last year I have.

For that, I'm eternally grateful. For the opportunity to be a mom. For the wonderful blessing of staying home with my little guy. For the knowledge that the Lord won't ask us to do anything without preparing a way for us to accomplish it. Including...becoming a mother.

It's a boy! And other news.

The results are in! Baby number two is a boy! We're so excited. It took three ultrasounds to get an actual 100% "It's a boy," but now we know! I know the picture is small, but if you can't tell, it's a 3/4 type shot with his hand on his face, kind of like a "facepalm."

As a family, we've made the decision to eat more healthily. We started by switching out a few simple things that we eat a lot of. Peanut butter, bread, etc. We made an effort to add some more fruits and vegetables each day, and we also made an effort to drink more water. That was working great, and actually made a big difference in the way we were feeling.

Then Christopher shared some things that he learned while watching Jamie Oliver. Together we decided to take more control over our diets and the foods that go into our bodies. We started reading the labels on every food we buy and we're not buying anything that has ingredients that we don't recognize. (We use google sometimes, because there are lots of food terms we don't know yet.) We've learned so far that there are unnecessary additives and preservatives in everything that we've been eating. The food makeover may take a little while, but we're already feeling better. I've started to notice fruits and honey tasting sweeter, and I don't need to add sugar to things I eat anymore. This morning I had oatmeal with strawberries, and a little bit of honey. It was delicious!

James is growing so fast! He crawls everywhere just as fast as he possibly can, and this week has started following me out of rooms, and returning to things I've pulled him out of. I've barricaded the vertical blinds on the doors in the living room, the guitar, and the ps3, and he's still finding plenty to get into! He likes to pull himself up on things, and because of that, I'm greeted by this adorable sight after naps, and often in the morning.

He loves all kinds of foods, and prefers the food on my plate to the puréed baby food. (Yet another great reason to not be eating unnatural foods! But it's hard when I can't give him things I put honey in.) This morning I fed him slices of avocado, which he really enjoyed eating, but the most fun part was finger painting all over his tray in bright green! When I took off his bib, it was obvious where it had been; his clothes were green too.

Over the weekend, we had the chance to visit home. We stayed for a few days with Chris's dad and his wife, and had a really good time. We took a few minutes to stop by Greenwood so James could see where his Grandma Melinda is buried. Maybe it's a little morbid, but we took pictures because she's an important part of our family. It's kind of like a three-generation shot.

On Saturday, GG and Papa had a big party at their house to celebrate both of them turning 75 this year, as well as their house turning 150. It was a wonderful time, and James was the star of the show! All of that entertaining wore him out, and he snuggled in next to Dad on the swing and slept for a half-hour or so. I can't wait to get this picture framed on my nightstand. There's nothing more special to me than to see my boys together, and James is DEFINITELY a Daddy's Boy. Christopher is the best dad in the world.

We celebrated Father's day with Chris's dad, and it was great! I sure do love my little family, and can't wait until we're a family of 4-even though I'm going to be seriously outnumbered! Quick, someone go buy me something pink so I don't forget I'm a girl!

Wonder and Awe

I don't know if I'll ever tire of watching my sweet baby boy explore the world. He finds the most unusual things fascinating, the threads on the inside of a sock, the corner of a pillow, the underside of his swing, and the laces on Dad's shoes, just to name a few.

I'm sure it would be seriously boring, not to mention inconvenient, to have all the memories of my early life in my head along with everything else I'm supposed to be remembering, (not that I'm doing a very good job of that these days!) but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to remember witnessing the world for the first time, every new object filling me with wonder and awe. What's so special about the back of a toy when all the buttons are on the front? What makes the tag on a stuffed animal more fun to play with than the rest of the toy? Why are socks so much fun to chew on? What IS it about people's shoes?