Men

I heard this quote this morning, and couldn't not share. Have you ever met my husband? He's the most incredible man in the universe. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He's smart, he's creative, he's strong, compassionate, and loving. He's gentle and kind and understanding. He brings out the very best in me, and sticks with me through my worst times. He's seen me fail, and he's seen me succeed, and he still stands by me. He teaches me patience and strength, and he always puts his family first.

He's all I ever wanted, and more than I deserve.

There are really not enough words to express how lucky I am to have this man in my life. As I prepare to give birth to our second son, all I can think is that I would be so proud of my two little guys if they turn out just like their dad. James already has his smile, his eyes, and his strength. I can't wait to watch both boys follow the incredible example set by their dad.

So to you, Christopher, thank you. Thank you for being the best husband and father I've ever seen. Thank you for working so hard to provide for our family. Thank you for encouraging me and helping me succeed. Thank you for making each day better than the one before. Thank you for believing in me when I don't believe in myself.

Thank you for teaching me that I'm worth it.

On having babies close together...

Someone told my husband today that they felt sorry for our kids because they're going to be so close together. I try to be careful to not rant about the comments we've been getting since announcing this pregnancy, because it doesn't do anyone any good, but maybe it's time for me to say something.

Shortly after we were married, I was told that we would need a fertility specialist in order to get pregnant at all. Ever. I have a medical condition that is the number one cause of infertility in women. It's also known to cause secondary infertility.

Our children are a blessing.

We want them.

We care for them.

We love them.

So please, don't feel sorry for them and don't feel sorry for us. Sometimes the most challenging things in our lives are the biggest blessings.

Becoming a Mother

I always thought that the day I found out I was pregnant, I became a mother.

Then I got pregnant.

When I was pregnant, I was positive that the first time I saw my baby moving on the ultrasound monitor, I would become a mother.

Then I saw the ultrasound.

When I was pregnant, watching those wonderful ultrasounds, I knew that I'd have to experience something different to become a mother. I couldn't be more certain that the moment I saw my first child for the first time, I would become a mother.

Then I saw him. There wasn't any magical moment. I didn't cry because I was so happy. I was terrified, I was tired, and I didn't FEEL anything. I definitely didn't feel like I'd become a mother.

In the months that followed, I didn't feel like much had changed about me except for the fact that I slept less, I complained more, and I was generally not very pleasant to be around. I was unsteady and unsure of myself, and I felt very lonely in the world. Not like a mother at all.

Today, as I watch my little boy cruise around the furniture, turn the pages in his books, hug and kiss his teddy bears, drive his cars, and touch things while saying, "This! This!" I feel love. I feel peace. I feel gratitude. And most of all, I feel like a mother.

So all that is to say, becoming a mother isn't an event. It's not like getting baptized and becoming a member of a church. It's not turning thirteen and becoming a teenager. It's a process, or at least for me it has been. I never once felt the switch flip and knew for sure that in one moment I became a mother, but I do know that over the last year I have.

For that, I'm eternally grateful. For the opportunity to be a mom. For the wonderful blessing of staying home with my little guy. For the knowledge that the Lord won't ask us to do anything without preparing a way for us to accomplish it. Including...becoming a mother.

It's a boy! And other news.

The results are in! Baby number two is a boy! We're so excited. It took three ultrasounds to get an actual 100% "It's a boy," but now we know! I know the picture is small, but if you can't tell, it's a 3/4 type shot with his hand on his face, kind of like a "facepalm."

As a family, we've made the decision to eat more healthily. We started by switching out a few simple things that we eat a lot of. Peanut butter, bread, etc. We made an effort to add some more fruits and vegetables each day, and we also made an effort to drink more water. That was working great, and actually made a big difference in the way we were feeling.

Then Christopher shared some things that he learned while watching Jamie Oliver. Together we decided to take more control over our diets and the foods that go into our bodies. We started reading the labels on every food we buy and we're not buying anything that has ingredients that we don't recognize. (We use google sometimes, because there are lots of food terms we don't know yet.) We've learned so far that there are unnecessary additives and preservatives in everything that we've been eating. The food makeover may take a little while, but we're already feeling better. I've started to notice fruits and honey tasting sweeter, and I don't need to add sugar to things I eat anymore. This morning I had oatmeal with strawberries, and a little bit of honey. It was delicious!

James is growing so fast! He crawls everywhere just as fast as he possibly can, and this week has started following me out of rooms, and returning to things I've pulled him out of. I've barricaded the vertical blinds on the doors in the living room, the guitar, and the ps3, and he's still finding plenty to get into! He likes to pull himself up on things, and because of that, I'm greeted by this adorable sight after naps, and often in the morning.

He loves all kinds of foods, and prefers the food on my plate to the puréed baby food. (Yet another great reason to not be eating unnatural foods! But it's hard when I can't give him things I put honey in.) This morning I fed him slices of avocado, which he really enjoyed eating, but the most fun part was finger painting all over his tray in bright green! When I took off his bib, it was obvious where it had been; his clothes were green too.

Over the weekend, we had the chance to visit home. We stayed for a few days with Chris's dad and his wife, and had a really good time. We took a few minutes to stop by Greenwood so James could see where his Grandma Melinda is buried. Maybe it's a little morbid, but we took pictures because she's an important part of our family. It's kind of like a three-generation shot.

On Saturday, GG and Papa had a big party at their house to celebrate both of them turning 75 this year, as well as their house turning 150. It was a wonderful time, and James was the star of the show! All of that entertaining wore him out, and he snuggled in next to Dad on the swing and slept for a half-hour or so. I can't wait to get this picture framed on my nightstand. There's nothing more special to me than to see my boys together, and James is DEFINITELY a Daddy's Boy. Christopher is the best dad in the world.

We celebrated Father's day with Chris's dad, and it was great! I sure do love my little family, and can't wait until we're a family of 4-even though I'm going to be seriously outnumbered! Quick, someone go buy me something pink so I don't forget I'm a girl!

Wonder and Awe

I don't know if I'll ever tire of watching my sweet baby boy explore the world. He finds the most unusual things fascinating, the threads on the inside of a sock, the corner of a pillow, the underside of his swing, and the laces on Dad's shoes, just to name a few.

I'm sure it would be seriously boring, not to mention inconvenient, to have all the memories of my early life in my head along with everything else I'm supposed to be remembering, (not that I'm doing a very good job of that these days!) but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to remember witnessing the world for the first time, every new object filling me with wonder and awe. What's so special about the back of a toy when all the buttons are on the front? What makes the tag on a stuffed animal more fun to play with than the rest of the toy? Why are socks so much fun to chew on? What IS it about people's shoes?

Happy Mother's Day!

I shared my thoughts on motherhood recently, they can be found here. So today, I'd like to share some of my favorite moments in the last year of being a mother.

-Feeling James kick and squirm all hours of the night.

-Giving birth.

-Holding James for the first time.

-Watching Chris with James for the first time.

-Celebrating James's firsts: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Easter.

-Seeing James's first smile.

-Hearing his first laugh.

-Holding him all night long to help him sleep.

-Watching James learn to be mobile-squirming, rolling, scooting, and rocking.

-Listening to his first "Words" - Dada, Nana, Baba, Gaga, Mama

-Helping him feel better when he's sick.

-The way he grins at me when I go into his room in his morning.

-Listening to him talk when he wakes up.

-Watching the faces that he makes as he tries new foods.

And so many more things! Being a mother is such a wonderful blessing in my life. Sometimes I still can't believe that this adorable boy came from heaven to be with our family, and I'm so blessed to be his mom.

Happy Half-Birthday Baby James!

Dear James,

Wow! I can't believe six months have passed since you made your wonderful debut into our family! These last six months have been the most incredible months of our lives. We are so blessed to have you in our family. You make us smile and laugh, cry and pray. Because of you, we work harder, think more, and are happier than ever.

In the last months, you have grown so much, and learned more than we could ever imagine.

When you were born, we knew right away that you looked just like Daddy. You were 9 lbs, 7 oz, and 20 inches long.

At one month old, you were as cute as can be. Everyone loved you, and wanted to hold you all the time. We discovered that you didn't really like sleeping, and you were very unhappy until we switched you to formula. After the switch, you were so much happier! We were glad to finally have found something that would work for your little tummy. You didn't like sleeping by yourself, so you spent every night in Mom's arms. We all started getting a lot more sleep!

We decided it was time for you to learn how to play the trumpet. Aunt Lydia didn't mind letting you borrow her very cool compact one.

At 2 months, your family was very very busy. We spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years with family. It was really a lot of fun! You got to see snow for the first time; your mom really loves snow. Also just before your 2 month birthday, you showed your very first great big smile! Luckily Mom had the camera close by!

At 3 months old, you started showing us your very very adorable personality and discovered your feet. Very close to your 3 month birthday, you learned to roll over from your belly to your back, and also how to grab and play with a rattle. The elephant rattle in this picture is still one of your favorite toys.

On the day you turned 4 months old, we moved from our home in Fairfield to Louisville because Daddy got a new job. You sure love your dad a lot, and your favorite thing in the whole wide world is to play with him. He always makes you laugh! You also learned how to roll over from your back to your belly, and mom was so excited!

When you turned 5 months old, you started talking a little more. On your 5 month birthday, you started saying "Da! Da!" I don't think you know it means Daddy yet, but it still makes us really happy!

Last night, the night before your 6 month birthday, we gave you your very first vegetables. At first you were happy, but you didn't really like the taste of the peas. You love to sit in your high chair, you LOVE to eat your cereal, (rice and oatmeal) and you're trying very hard to learn how to crawl. Sometimes you pull your knees up underneath yourself, and you even got up on your hands and knees once yesterday. You're teething, and we're pretty sure we're going to see some adorable little teeth in your mouth very soon! You started saying other fun words, like "Na" and "Ma," but you still say "Dada" when you're the happiest. Mom thinks it's because you love your dad so much!

We're so proud of you, little James! It's so much fun watching you learn and grow, and even better knowing that we get to keep you forever. We love you more and more every day, and are having so much fun watching you grow. Thank you for making us the happiest parents in the world. We're so thankful that Heavenly Father let you come be a part of our family, and can't imagine our lives without you in it.

We love you!

Mom and Dad