Um...do you know me?

There's been a lot of talk at our house lately about the changes in Facebook. When the new features were first presented at the f8 convention, they were announced as a way to "know your friends like you've never known them before."

Interesting.

As the changes take place, you'll continue to be able to see what things your friends "like" and comment on in REAL TIME! You'll be able to see what your friends are listening to in REAL TIME! You'll know what your friends are watching in REAL TIME! Is this sounding a little big brother-ish to you? It is to me. Not like the-government-is-watching-my-every-move Big Brother, more like there's-a-camera-in-every-room-of-my-house-and-everyone-is-watching Big Brother. It's okay, I guess...if you're into that sort of thing.

I mostly am not.

But the whole point I'm trying to make is...does this make it so you know your friends like you've never known them before? Or does it take us all to a new level of stalking, yet never really knowing anyone? According to Mark Zuckerberg, when Facebook first came out, people would spend 5 minutes perusing someone's profile. Now the number is 20. 20 minutes. No wonder it's so easy to waste your life away on Facebook! You can click through everything someone's doing! You can learn things about them you never knew before! And with the advent of Timeline, you can click through someone's WHOLE LIFE!!!!

uhm...hey, Creeper. Wouldn't it be a lot cooler if you talked to someone for 20 minutes and learned all about them?

I was at a gathering once and heard someone say, "My friend was saying the other day_______" making it sound as if these two people had a meaningful conversation. They never did. I saw it on Facebook too. According to my 17 year old brother, Facebook is automatically uncool as soon as you talk about Facebook outside of Facebook. But...what happens when there's so little interaction in real life that Facebook is all that's left? I mean-sure-I'm not going to call everyone I know to tell them about the funny little thing James just did, but I post it on Facebook so I can feel validated in thinking it was awesome.

Facebook and Spotify will link together and tell you that I spent an hour listening to Josh Groban yesterday. If you knew that, would you feel like you knew me better? Maybe. But I can guarantee that you wouldn't know that I'm not a huge Grobanite. I desperately needed to relax, I was soaking in the tub, and I was interested in listening to something different than my typical instrumental music. You'll never know why I needed to relax. You'll never know what was going on with me yesterday.

What about when it tells you I'm listening to

Breaking Benjamin?

Dave Matthews Band?

Mika?

There's always a reason. You may discover that I spent an entire week listening to the exact same music. So what if it was Michael Jackson. It doesn't mean you know me. (Okay, shut up! It's something that is just REALLY catchy about the song "Earth Song." I can't stop listening to it. And if I don't play "This is it," "Blame it on the Boogie," and some other selected MJ songs once a week, I feel like I'm not truly living.)

So all this to say, with the advent of the new and improved Facebook...do we really know each other at all anymore? Or do we just think we do?

Men

I heard this quote this morning, and couldn't not share. Have you ever met my husband? He's the most incredible man in the universe. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He's smart, he's creative, he's strong, compassionate, and loving. He's gentle and kind and understanding. He brings out the very best in me, and sticks with me through my worst times. He's seen me fail, and he's seen me succeed, and he still stands by me. He teaches me patience and strength, and he always puts his family first.

He's all I ever wanted, and more than I deserve.

There are really not enough words to express how lucky I am to have this man in my life. As I prepare to give birth to our second son, all I can think is that I would be so proud of my two little guys if they turn out just like their dad. James already has his smile, his eyes, and his strength. I can't wait to watch both boys follow the incredible example set by their dad.

So to you, Christopher, thank you. Thank you for being the best husband and father I've ever seen. Thank you for working so hard to provide for our family. Thank you for encouraging me and helping me succeed. Thank you for making each day better than the one before. Thank you for believing in me when I don't believe in myself.

Thank you for teaching me that I'm worth it.

On having babies close together...

Someone told my husband today that they felt sorry for our kids because they're going to be so close together. I try to be careful to not rant about the comments we've been getting since announcing this pregnancy, because it doesn't do anyone any good, but maybe it's time for me to say something.

Shortly after we were married, I was told that we would need a fertility specialist in order to get pregnant at all. Ever. I have a medical condition that is the number one cause of infertility in women. It's also known to cause secondary infertility.

Our children are a blessing.

We want them.

We care for them.

We love them.

So please, don't feel sorry for them and don't feel sorry for us. Sometimes the most challenging things in our lives are the biggest blessings.

Becoming a Mother

I always thought that the day I found out I was pregnant, I became a mother.

Then I got pregnant.

When I was pregnant, I was positive that the first time I saw my baby moving on the ultrasound monitor, I would become a mother.

Then I saw the ultrasound.

When I was pregnant, watching those wonderful ultrasounds, I knew that I'd have to experience something different to become a mother. I couldn't be more certain that the moment I saw my first child for the first time, I would become a mother.

Then I saw him. There wasn't any magical moment. I didn't cry because I was so happy. I was terrified, I was tired, and I didn't FEEL anything. I definitely didn't feel like I'd become a mother.

In the months that followed, I didn't feel like much had changed about me except for the fact that I slept less, I complained more, and I was generally not very pleasant to be around. I was unsteady and unsure of myself, and I felt very lonely in the world. Not like a mother at all.

Today, as I watch my little boy cruise around the furniture, turn the pages in his books, hug and kiss his teddy bears, drive his cars, and touch things while saying, "This! This!" I feel love. I feel peace. I feel gratitude. And most of all, I feel like a mother.

So all that is to say, becoming a mother isn't an event. It's not like getting baptized and becoming a member of a church. It's not turning thirteen and becoming a teenager. It's a process, or at least for me it has been. I never once felt the switch flip and knew for sure that in one moment I became a mother, but I do know that over the last year I have.

For that, I'm eternally grateful. For the opportunity to be a mom. For the wonderful blessing of staying home with my little guy. For the knowledge that the Lord won't ask us to do anything without preparing a way for us to accomplish it. Including...becoming a mother.

It's a boy! And other news.

The results are in! Baby number two is a boy! We're so excited. It took three ultrasounds to get an actual 100% "It's a boy," but now we know! I know the picture is small, but if you can't tell, it's a 3/4 type shot with his hand on his face, kind of like a "facepalm."

As a family, we've made the decision to eat more healthily. We started by switching out a few simple things that we eat a lot of. Peanut butter, bread, etc. We made an effort to add some more fruits and vegetables each day, and we also made an effort to drink more water. That was working great, and actually made a big difference in the way we were feeling.

Then Christopher shared some things that he learned while watching Jamie Oliver. Together we decided to take more control over our diets and the foods that go into our bodies. We started reading the labels on every food we buy and we're not buying anything that has ingredients that we don't recognize. (We use google sometimes, because there are lots of food terms we don't know yet.) We've learned so far that there are unnecessary additives and preservatives in everything that we've been eating. The food makeover may take a little while, but we're already feeling better. I've started to notice fruits and honey tasting sweeter, and I don't need to add sugar to things I eat anymore. This morning I had oatmeal with strawberries, and a little bit of honey. It was delicious!

James is growing so fast! He crawls everywhere just as fast as he possibly can, and this week has started following me out of rooms, and returning to things I've pulled him out of. I've barricaded the vertical blinds on the doors in the living room, the guitar, and the ps3, and he's still finding plenty to get into! He likes to pull himself up on things, and because of that, I'm greeted by this adorable sight after naps, and often in the morning.

He loves all kinds of foods, and prefers the food on my plate to the puréed baby food. (Yet another great reason to not be eating unnatural foods! But it's hard when I can't give him things I put honey in.) This morning I fed him slices of avocado, which he really enjoyed eating, but the most fun part was finger painting all over his tray in bright green! When I took off his bib, it was obvious where it had been; his clothes were green too.

Over the weekend, we had the chance to visit home. We stayed for a few days with Chris's dad and his wife, and had a really good time. We took a few minutes to stop by Greenwood so James could see where his Grandma Melinda is buried. Maybe it's a little morbid, but we took pictures because she's an important part of our family. It's kind of like a three-generation shot.

On Saturday, GG and Papa had a big party at their house to celebrate both of them turning 75 this year, as well as their house turning 150. It was a wonderful time, and James was the star of the show! All of that entertaining wore him out, and he snuggled in next to Dad on the swing and slept for a half-hour or so. I can't wait to get this picture framed on my nightstand. There's nothing more special to me than to see my boys together, and James is DEFINITELY a Daddy's Boy. Christopher is the best dad in the world.

We celebrated Father's day with Chris's dad, and it was great! I sure do love my little family, and can't wait until we're a family of 4-even though I'm going to be seriously outnumbered! Quick, someone go buy me something pink so I don't forget I'm a girl!

Wonder and Awe

I don't know if I'll ever tire of watching my sweet baby boy explore the world. He finds the most unusual things fascinating, the threads on the inside of a sock, the corner of a pillow, the underside of his swing, and the laces on Dad's shoes, just to name a few.

I'm sure it would be seriously boring, not to mention inconvenient, to have all the memories of my early life in my head along with everything else I'm supposed to be remembering, (not that I'm doing a very good job of that these days!) but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to remember witnessing the world for the first time, every new object filling me with wonder and awe. What's so special about the back of a toy when all the buttons are on the front? What makes the tag on a stuffed animal more fun to play with than the rest of the toy? Why are socks so much fun to chew on? What IS it about people's shoes?

Happy Mother's Day!

I shared my thoughts on motherhood recently, they can be found here. So today, I'd like to share some of my favorite moments in the last year of being a mother.

-Feeling James kick and squirm all hours of the night.

-Giving birth.

-Holding James for the first time.

-Watching Chris with James for the first time.

-Celebrating James's firsts: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Easter.

-Seeing James's first smile.

-Hearing his first laugh.

-Holding him all night long to help him sleep.

-Watching James learn to be mobile-squirming, rolling, scooting, and rocking.

-Listening to his first "Words" - Dada, Nana, Baba, Gaga, Mama

-Helping him feel better when he's sick.

-The way he grins at me when I go into his room in his morning.

-Listening to him talk when he wakes up.

-Watching the faces that he makes as he tries new foods.

And so many more things! Being a mother is such a wonderful blessing in my life. Sometimes I still can't believe that this adorable boy came from heaven to be with our family, and I'm so blessed to be his mom.